


Friendship Redefined

by Jacqueline_64



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Betrayal, Episode Related, Episode: s04e21 Starsky vs Hutch, Friendship Crisis, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 06:22:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20652623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacqueline_64/pseuds/Jacqueline_64
Summary: A story that takes place during and after "Starsky vs. Hutch". A fight between two men that almost ends their friendship, turns into a fight of two men for the survival of that very friendship.





	1. ONE

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Maria Priest and Laureen for proofreading, mentorship and lessons.

The most used disclaimer:   
The TV show "Starsky and Hutch", and the characters from it   
are the property of the persons who hold the copyrights   
and other legal rights to them.   
This story is a work of fiction, written for pleasure only   
and not for profit. It is not intended, in any way,   
to infringe on these preexisting copyrights.

# FRIENDSHIP REDEFINED

By Jacqueline (c)2001   
  


## ONE

  
  


"Starsk, wait!"  
Hutch tried to catch up with his partner as Starsky stormed out of Kira's house.  
But Starsky didn't wait and hurriedly got into the Torino, taking off at great speed.  
Hutch lost sight of the Torino before he had a chance to put his battered LTD in gear.  
_At least give me a chance to explain, mushbrain!_ Hutch thought as he turned the same corner following the Torino's trail.

He drove around the city, but concentrated on checking all their usual hangouts and the police station, looking for Starsky.  
Finally, when he didn't even spot the Torino in front of Starsky's apartment, he drove back home.

As he entered his apartment he walked straight toward the refrigerator.  
When he opened its door the light shone on all the contents the fridge held: 3 six-packs, a bottle of whiskey, two bottles of wine and a stale jar of jam.  
He liberated one can of beer and turned as he was in the process of closing the fridge.  
Then he noticed Starsky in the doorway to the greenhouse.

"Starsk ---" He couldn't remember seeing the Torino in front of his building.

"Why did ya do it?" Starsky's voice sounded emotionless, flat.

"Starsk, I'm so sor ----"

"Don't you dare say you're sorry ---," Starsky inhaled deeply, "--- don't you dare."

The mood in the apartment was heavy. Hutch did not know what to do next.  
In his heart he knew he was wrong, but somehow, something in Starsky's demeanor told him it would be extremely hard to explain himself to his partner, so he remained silent, hesitant and anxious.

After a few moments of total quiet filled with a tension so thick that it could have cut through steel, Starsky moved toward the door.  
"You and me, we gotta talk. But first we got a job to do. I expect ya to act like a pro.  
Lives are at stake here. Can I trust ya ta----".  
Another awkward silence.  
"Can ya handle that?"

Hutch nodded his reply.  
From the doorway his partner stared at him. They were just a few feet apart, but it might have been miles.  
_Talk to me, yell at me, do something, damn it! Don't just leave,_ he thought.  
But without so much as a second look, Starsky turned his back toward him and left, leaving Hutch alone in the deafening quiet of the apartment.

Hutch felt as if the air had been sucked out of his system.  
He stood there, forgetting the beer in his hand when finally the ringing of his phone pulled him from his thoughts.  
He picked up the receiver only to find Captain Dobey's voice on the other end of the line, scolding him and Starsky for not calling in and telling him to get over to view yet another body of another dead dancehall girl.  
When Dobey inquired why the partners weren't together and why he had to call them separately Hutch couldn't produce a slick answer.  
The loud click on the other end told him his superior was not going to let this matter rest.  
_When it rains, it really pours,_ he thought.  
"What a wonderful world," he cynically muttered to himself as he wearily picked up his keys and went on his way to view the latest victim's body.  
  
  


*************************************


	2. TWO

## TWO

  
  


With the perp arrested and taken into custody the case was closed and the three cops were left at the dancehall to take care of the last details. There was an uncomfortable tension between the two men and the woman. They each handled their respective part of the tasks, mostly in silence.  
Kira signed off first.  
Starsky and Hutch lingered for a while, stealing glances at the other, wondering how to break the stalemate.

Finally Hutch couldn't take the silent treatment he was receiving from Starsky anymore.  
"Look, I'm done here -- I'm going home. Can you handle it from here?" he asked, not able to avoid an irritated edge to his tone.

Starsky looked at him with an expression in his eyes that could freeze a fire.  
"Can you?" he asked, in a quiet, even tone.

"Oh, man --- "  
Frustrated, Hutch made an abandoning gesture with his hand, turned and started walking toward the exit.

"Goin' straight home?" Starsky couldn't resist calling after Hutch.

Angrily, Hutch turned.  
"Look, what's the deal? --- Huh? You want this out in the open, then get to it! Don't play with me, Starsky."

"Play with **you**?" came Starsky's quick retort.

"Oh, fuck ---" Hutch replied and quickly exited the ballroom.

Starsky lingered a while longer, with the rest of the crime scene unit.  
All of them were stunned, as they had never seen the partners behave towards each other this way. After 15 minutes, Starsky dismissed himself and left as well.  
  
  


*************************************


	3. THREE

## THREE

  
  


As Starsky climbed the stairs to his apartment he felt odd.  
Life was turned upside down these past few weeks. All the norms and values he had known and trusted had been thrown out of sync.  
Security had been replaced by emptiness.

When he opened the door and stepped into his apartment his contemplative mood transformed into anger as he noticed Hutch on his couch.  
Under normal circumstances Hutch's presence would not have bothered him, but now it was like a tiny flame that was situated too close to the gunpowder.

Wordlessly, he hung up his jacket and gun and made his way to the kitchen.  
Hutch had not even turned around to face Starsky, but had remained on the couch - silent.

Refusing to acknowledge his partner's presence, Starsky remained in the kitchen and puttered around, hoping Hutch would take the hint and leave on his own accord.  
Instead his partner got up from the couch and entered the kitchen, just as Starsky took a swig from his beer.

Looking frustrated, Hutch walked over to Starsky.  
"So what's the deal, huh? Don't you have something you want to tell me? Huh?"

Hutch could not have chosen a worse moment to demand rather than ask for a response.  
His partner's attitude irked Starsky terribly.  
_You lousy prick! You'd better get the hell outta here before we both do something we might regret._  
He clenched his jaw but remained still.

"Oh come on, Starsky! Don't play dumb with me." Hutch said.

Starsky's motions stopped for a second, spoon suspended in mid-air.  
_Play dumb?_  
Anger rose within him. He struggled to keep it from boiling to the surface.

"Starsk, I know you've got plenty to tell me, so let's get on with it. What's bothering you?"

That was it!  
With a deadly expression in his eyes, Starsky dropped the spoon he'd been holding and turned to face Hutch.  
"I don't know what the hell's the matter with you. All I know is that you're not Hutch anymore.  
So, I got **one** thing to say to you: ya better go out there and find yourself and stop serving me the crap you've been serving me for God knows how long now.  
Get out and find Hutch. Once ya found him, my door's wide open.  
Right now I want ya ta get the hell outta here!"

"What the hell is this all about? Who died and made you Mr. Perfect?" an indignant Hutch replied, voice rising.

Stunned, Starsky looked at this man opposite him.  
Finally, he walked towards the door and said in a clipped, hoarse voice,  
"If **that's** what ya think this is all about, you've taken a wrong turn somewhere along the line.  
Now --- get out ---- please."  
He held the door open for Hutch to pass.

Hutch started to say something, then abandoned the thought. On the landing he stopped and turned. Starsky didn't look at him.  
"Have it your way, putz," Hutch muttered as he turned and descended the stairs.

_Putz?_ Starsky couldn't believe his ears.  
He was ready to run down the stairs and have it out with this creature that outwardly resembled Hutch but inside was a stranger, but the sound of his phone stopped him from his plans. He closed the door and, as he could hear the LTD careening off, he walked over to the phone and picked it up.

It was Kira ----  
  
  


*************************************


	4. FOUR

## FOUR

  
  


They looked at each other, then said "Okay" and left The Pits with their arms firmly around the other's shoulder.  
It looked like old times to everyone, including Huggy, who was all too relieved to see how his old friends seemed to have "kissed and made up".

But as soon as Starsky and Hutch stood on the sidewalk outside their friend's establishment, they released their grip and stood, a few feet apart in silence.

"We still gotta talk," Starsky began, not looking at Hutch.

"I know," Hutch responded.  
"My place?"

A curt nod from Starsky and the men got into their respective cars.  
In front of Venice Place they parked and wordlessly entered the building.  
Once inside Hutch's apartment, their jackets still on, Hutch immediately walked over to the fridge.  
"Want a brewsky?" he called out, his tone of voice a reminder of old times.

"Nah, I wanna keep my head clear," came Starsky's less-than- enthusiastic reply.

Cautiously Hutch opened the can and turned to face his partner.  
"Okay, you first."

As Starsky looked at this man in front of him a multitude of emotions washed over him.  
_What the hell happened to get us to this point, Hutch?_  
_Is there still a chance we can get back to normal, or is what I'm about to say gonna mean the end of everything we had?_  
_Didn't it mean the same to you as it did to me? Where have you gone?_  
_What made you change so? What happened that made you so ---- bitter?_  
_Resentful? Cynical?_  
_Where the hell did you go?_  
He took a long deep breath, not sure how and where to begin.  
What to pick for an opening line.  
Finally, while looking at the floor, he said,  
"I wanna know what happened. What happened to make you do --- what ya did.  
You were coming totally from left field with that and I don't know what made you do it!  
And why?"

"Are you talking about Kira?"

Incredulously Starsky looked at Hutch.  
"What **else**? Not that I couldn't mention a few things ----"

"Look, Starsk.  
Don't you see she was playing us for fools? She wanted to have her cake and eat it too, and she found two suckers dumb enough to play along with her."

"Is that how you see it? Huh?  
**I** wasn't playing any game. And I thought I'd made that pretty clear to ya.  
I **told** ya I loved her and what do **you** do?  
You turn around and go **get** some --- what the hell was **that** all about?!" Starsky raised his voice.

"I **didn't** go out to 'get me some'. I **told** you I just wanted to hear from her if she felt the same way about you."

"And you think that's a normal thing to do?  
To check with someone if they're really sure about the person who's just told you they're in love --- if they feel the same way?  
What kind of crap is that?"

"For your information, Kira was the one who lit the fire and kept it going, as far as I'm concerned.  
I never went to her, she came to **me**!"

"And you politely refused, huh, cos you knew your partner, your **friend** was already involved with her," Starsky spat out sarcastically.

"Oh, come on, Starsk! You guys weren't serious. So you dated a few times, made love a few times. We've been in this situation before. We did that countless times."

"Yeah, but never at the same time, with the same girl and certainly never while either of us **knew** the other was going with that girl ---  
You **knew**, Hutch! And still you go after her!"

"I told you **she** solicited it ---"

"And what are you? A babe in the woods? Huh? You're so innocent you didn't know what hit ya? Get real, Hutch. Be a man and take responsibility!  
**You** knew what was goin' on between Kira and me and still instead of doin' the proper thing and saying no, you took her up on her -- as you say it -- 'solicitation'?"

"You don't own her, buddy! You know damned well we were all just having fun. It's not like there were any wedding bands lurking in the near future."

"Oh, you'll stop at a wedding band -- that 's decent of ya," Starsky snapped.

"Come off it, Starsky! One month! One lousy month you date a girl and you act like you own her!"

"Well, I remember a time when my old buddy Hutch, my partner, my **best pal**, wouldn't even look twice at another girl as soon as I'd told him I was interested enough to try and make something happen.  
I remember a time when I could blindly tell what you would do, that I could **trust** your mind and your actions.  
I just told ya you totally caught me off guard with what ya did --- and it hurts."  
Starsky's piercing gaze tried to analyze this blond stranger in front of him.

Hutch just stood there, the vein on his temple throbbing.

"I wanna know where the **real** Hutch went. What made you change? What happened that was so bad that you could go and stab your best friend in the back?  
Or am I? Huh?  
Did you change your mind about our friendship too?"

"I **didn't** stab ---" Hutch's voice sounded strange -- hoarse and restrained.

"Hell of a way to treat your friend, buddy boy.  
Whatever happened to loyalty and trust? Huh? Dammit, I **trusted** you Hutch!  
How many times I told ya you're my best friend, huh?  
What did ya **think**, that I was just singin' a tune? You know me better than **that**. I don't just sing the tune, I write the words, pal!  
I **stick** to what I say cos I actually mean it! Can you say the same thing?  
Or are ya just sayin' the words without feelin' ya hafta back 'em up?  
All form and no substance, **huh**?!"

"We're **friends, you** know that!" Hutch said, giving Starsky an icy look.

A sudden stillness filled the room.  
Then Starsky calmly said,  
"How do I know?"

Hutch was flabbergasted for a second.  
"What?"

"I said 'How do I know?' **How** do I know we're friends?" Starsky replied, his voice still deadly calm.

"Oh, come on Starsky! Don't all the years we've spent together mean anything to you?  
Didn't I prove time after time after time that we are friends, **huh**?  
Didn't I save your life a few times, held you when you were sick or wounded?  
Cleaned up the mess after someone hurt you or left you? Didn't I do all that?"

"And ya want a medal for that?" Starsky calmly replied.

"What the hell is **that** supposed to mean?"

"The way you mention everything sounds like you been keepin' score.  
'Saved **his** life twice, saved **my** life twice.  
Helped mend a broken heart three times, helped mend **my** broken heart two times'.  
Ya forgot to mention ya planted a tree in my name!" Starsky smirked,  
"Keepin' everythin' in balance there, Hutch? What's the score?"

"What kind of a lousy thing is that to say?" Hutch demanded.

"Did I strike a nerve? Hit a bit too close to home, buddy?  
Ya see, that's the difference between you 'n' me.  
I don't think. God **knows** you've blamed me for **that** countless times."

Starsky moved toward the door to the green house as he spoke.  
"I **do** \-- I **feel** \-- I act on impulse, on instinct. And I **don't** think.  
When I consider someone a friend, I feel like I don't **hafta** think anymore.  
Then all my actions and my feelings come from here."  
He pointed at his heart.

"Don't you think that's kind of a Pollyana approach?" Hutch smirked.

"Unconditional, Hutch.  
When I consider someone a friend, I give that person all my trust.  
I blindly believe that person will do the same because that's one of the major things on **my** list of what defines friendship.  
Trust.  
I don't give myself easily, but when I do, I'm like a bad penny; ya can't get rid of me --- unless **you** do something that'll mess it all up."

A long pause followed.  
Starsky took time to look at Hutch, who just stood by the kitchen counter, staring at the floor again, looking grim.

Starsky contemplated for a moment.  
_Say something, Hutch! And not another smart-ass remark. I'm pouring my heart out here. What the hell is the matter with you? Where's the White Knight? __The soul mate, the partner who knows me inside and out?_  
_Are you still in there, buddy? What the hell else do I gotta do to get through to you?_

He continued.  
"I trusted you and I stood by you. Me and Thee, no matter what.  
But somewhere along the line --- I dunno --- I get the feelin' that --- that maybe --- I dunno -- something changed.  
It wasn't Me and Thee anymore. I **don't** know what started it or **when** it exactly started for that matter, but for some time now, I've been getting these vibes from you like --- like our friendship don't mean the same to you as it does to me."

Starsky's eyes examined Hutch again.  
His partner was still standing like a statue, but it was obvious the tension inside the blond was building.  
_No response yet, buddy? Hutch, don't make this harder than it has to be ---_  
_Okay, here goes nothing._  
Starsky took a deep breath, before taking the plunge.  
"If this thing with Kira was your way of tellin' me something --- it worked. ---- Or it **would've** if it weren't for my stupid sense of loyalty.  
Cos despite the knife ya just stuck in my back, Hutch, I think we could still work this out -- but ya gotta come out in the open.  
D'ya think what we have is worth it?"

Hutch took a long swig from his beer and put it down on the counter with a thud.  
He began pacing the length of the counter and was obviously seething.

Starsky held his breath.

Finally Hutch spoke. His tone low, soft almost menacing.  
"You know, I've been standing here listening to you going on about how I messed things up.  
And God **knows** I've made mistakes cos hell, Starsk, I'm only human, you know!  
But the self-righteous way you present things now, the absolute whitewashing of your own personality and behavior --- So help me, Starsk, you talk about change? You keep going on about how **I've** changed?!  
Take a good look in the mirror, mushbrain, and take in the view.  
Can you imagine that **my** change perhaps was induced by the change in **you**, huh?"

Hutch's response came out of left field for Starsky yet again.  
He stood flatfooted, with a dimwitted expression on his face, his mind spinning to catch up.

Hutch continued,  
"How **dare** you question my feelings about our relationship! If anything, it was **I** who kept this thing going all these years.  
**I** picked up the pieces countless times when you were ready to throw in the towel.  
It was **me** who grabbed you by your neck and pulled you back into our friendship, buddy, time after time again.  
I sat through your whining and complaining, I sat through your irresponsible behavior and mindless acts and I did that because frankly, you amused me.  
I needed that. I needed that counterpart of silliness.  
I had the best of both worlds -- a great partner who'd give his life for me on the job and after hours a friendship with Peter Pan, the boy who never grew up.  
You were the Ying to my Yang. But then you changed. You stopped being lighthearted.  
Peter Pan disappeared and you turned into a, uh, you became a ---"  
he rubbed a hand over his mouth,  
"--- you became the proverbial Jewish mother: whine, whine, sour, complain, whine, whine, whine ---. Don't take out on me what you, yourself, drove me to."

"So now you're blamin' **me** for what happened?  
You're blamin' **me** for -- for ---" Starsky was too baffled to express his thoughts.

"Yeah! That's right! I'm blaming you.  
I'm blaming you for losing yourself! For growing up!  
For stopping to be the one point of sanity in this fucked-up world we live in.  
My escape hatch."  
Practically shaking with emotion, Hutch spat out the words.

Starsky was stunned. He'd never thought their argument would take this turn.  
"You're blamin' me for growin' up? Hutch, I'm a man! I can't stay ten goin' on forty forever!  
What the hell kinda crap argument is that?"

"It's not a crap argument and you know it. We are in this friendship together, whether you like it or not.  
I can't just keep giving and giving without being re-juiced from time to time.  
You are the one who changed the dynamics of our friendship when you stopped being you."

His mind was numb. He just stared at Hutch for a while, then quietly said,  
"You're nuts. I think you've actually really lost it! Is that why your meals include at least two six-packs a day? Because I ceased to be your comic relief?"

Hutch snapped his head in Starsky's direction.  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Where the hell do you get off ---"

Starsky stormed over to Hutch's refrigerator, opened it and frantically pulled out its contents and set them on the counter.  
"You're blamin' me for this too?" Starsky, gesturing at the booze, barked at Hutch who by now was truly seething.  
"You know what you've just told me is completely the opposite of what you've been acting out for a long time now already?  
You continuously blamed me for being irresponsible, childish, silly --- telling me I should grow up, wise up.  
Telling me I'm stupid, dumb and **all kinds** of variations on that theme to let me know just what was wrong with **me** and that despite **all** my shortcomings, you **still** put up with me!  
D'ya have **any** idea how **old** that was beginning to get? Huh? D'ya have **any** idea how **sick** I would get of those remarks from time to time?"

"I didn't mean that, you **know** that. It was all said in jest," Hutch bit back as he walked over to the kitchen counter and put everything Starsky had just retrieved from the fridge back in its place.

"Was it? Maybe it was, in the beginning. But lately your remarks had this edge to them, Hutch. I often wondered if you even listened to yourself when you said those things to me.  
Did **you** know ya just called me a mushbrain again? Huh? I don't even think you noticed it. I often wondered why you didn't see those remarks ceased to be funny but became bitter and snappy ---  
I often wondered if you ever realized how they could hurt my feelings and make me resent you."

"What? Do I have to be a mindreader now too?" Hutch snapped.

"Why not? If you can read my mind when we're in a hold-up situation.  
When you know exactly what we'll do next; where I will be and where you will be and how we will get the bad guys, I think you should be capable after all these years to know what makes me tick.  
To know what I like and dislike.  
To know what makes me laugh.  
To know what hurts me.  
You could've known --- or **should've** known --- that after a while those remarks were getting old.  
That a person can only be told so many times he's dumb and take it for the joke it's supposedly meant to be.  
I **know** you, Hutch. I know when to stop, and I always kept to it.  
But lately, the way I feel about things doesn't seem to matter to you anymore."

"Bull -- I resent that," Hutch spat out.

"Resent all ya like. It's the truth and you know it.  
How many times have you betrayed my trust lately, huh? Small things, big things --- countless things.  
I never minded being the butt of your actions, Hutch, as long as they were recognizable as fun -- unintentional. But for some time now, they ceased to be fun; they became nasty.  
So many times I gotta find out things last. Kind of a strange situation, dontcha think?  
For a best friend, a **partner**, to find stuff out through the grapevine?  
Instead of being told by his '**best friend**'.  
To always be the last in line? To find out all your 200 "closest friends" knew before me ---"  
Starsky shook his head.  
"You've got more close friends than a dog has fleas!  
Spreadin' yourself a bit thin there, dontcha think so, buddy?" he snorted sarcastically.

Hutch stared at the floor.

Starsky continued.  
"If **I** changed it's because **you** shut me out.  
And don't give me that crap of 'I'd never do that to you' or 'You misunderstood'.  
Just how fucking stupid do you think I am? Huh?  
Every time I let myself be suckered into something again after you'd tell me you 'never intended forgetting to tell me' or you 'never intended to shut me out'!  
**You made** that I couldn't take your word anymore.  
I **had** to find my own way, because you weren't including me in anything.  
And if I 'grew up' as you say, I guess that was one of the inevitable consequences."

Starsky paused a moment.  
His throat constricted painfully as he feared that what he had to say next would mean the end of the best friendship he'd ever had.  
"I'm not out for an exclusive friendship. I'm not askin' for you ta make me your **only** friend.  
That's not what this is about.  
This is about the fact that ya hurt me, Hutch, like I never thought anyone could hurt me.  
Ya stepped on my heart, Pal.  
You couldn't have hurt me more if you'd shot me --- you betrayed my trust."

The silence in the apartment was overwhelming.  
Neither partner knew where to go from here.

Finally Hutch said,  
"What does this mean?"

Starsky struggled to keep his emotions in control.  
"I'm still willing to give it a go.  
If **you** think we're still worth it --- this was just the opening shot.  
We got a lot of mess to clean up. We gotta rebuild the trust."

A full minute passed by. Starsky silently said a prayer.  
_I don't wanna lose our friendship, Hutch. God, let him come to his senses; let the old Hutch return. The guy who knew me and acted accordingly. Don't let this be the end._

Finally Hutch's voice sounded again.  
"It's going to be one hell of a trip. We may end up with some casualties."

Starsky let out a shivering sigh.  
"As long as there are no fatalities ----"  
His heart pounded so ferociously, he swore it could be heard over the stillness in the apartment.

Then Hutch looked him straight in the face. He knew that expression. It was guilt.  
_I got through to him --- Thank God! He got the message._

Hutch gave Starsky a faint, apologetic smile.  
Then he walked over to the fridge and got out all the alcoholic drinks again and put them on the counter.  
As he began unpacking the first of the six-packs, he looked up at Starsky and said,  
"Want to give me a hand?"

The anticipation on Starsky's face melted into a warm smile.  
He walked over to the counter and together the friends emptied all the cans and bottles into the sink.

The cleansing had begun.  
  
  


**********************************************************


End file.
